What's your secret code?

Hello everyone! Congratulations on surviving the 10 darkest weeks of the year. We’re officially on the upswing, and sunshine will be back soon. We’re personally counting down the days until we can sunbathe in each others’ backyards and sip “special drinks” out of our Stanleys while the kids play chicken in the pool.

The Ice Cream Cone Method, Explained

The other night, one of our kids used a secret message: 🍦. In our family, that emoji is code for “come and get me.” It doesn’t matter where our kids are, what they’re doing, or why they need us. We respond with “I’m on my way,” and we pick them up, no questions asked.

Here’s why: We’re laying the groundwork for life. No matter how old they are or where they live, we want them to know we will always be there when they need us, no matter what.

We use the emoji because it takes away the chance to ask “why.” There’s no negotiation here, and they don’t have to explain themselves. They just want to leave, whether it’s because they’re tired or homesick or, gosh forbid, unsafe somehow. We trust them to know when to use it, and they trust us to follow through.

Do you have a code with your kids? What are your thoughts on something like this? Hit reply and tell us your parenting philosophy.

Want to Be Better in 5?

We’re launching something new, and you’re going to love it. It’s a new product feature for The Common Parent, our community of curious parents who are all doing their best (sign up here if you haven’t already), and it’s called Better in 5.

The details: We’ll cover 50+ issues parents face all the time…and most importantly, what to do when that problem arises. We’re talking scripts for what to say to your kids, searchable topics on our Circle platform, and new ideas every single week.

A few examples of hot topics we’re covering: sexuality, nutrition and sleep, rebellion and defiance, emotional wellbeing, homework and university prep, internet and social media safety, and so much more.

We’re so excited to be building the parenting tools we ourselves are looking for. Join The Common Parent to get access to these Better in 5 guides!

The Sibling Effect on Teens

We’re raising seven kids between the two of us. So we know a good deal about big families. But this was an interesting new development: New research found that the more siblings in a family, the more kids’ mental health suffered during their teenage years.

Why? Not totally clear, but it likely has something to do with resources. Parents with more children have less time, attention, and money to spend on each individual kid.

If you already have enough kids to make getting a dinner reservation tough, consider this: An Australian study found that families with 4+ siblings had higher overall life satisfaction. So as long as you’re keeping in mind how family size might affect your kids’ wellbeing…you’re in good shape.

Big Tech’s New Policies for Teens

Lately, tech companies have been getting grilled over how they protect (or don’t protect) teens. And with good reason. But here’s some potentially good news: They might finally be making the changes they need to in order to keep kids safer online.

For example, Facebook and Instagram will now impose new limits on who can message underage users on the platform—and the settings can only be changed with parental consent. And Snap endorsed the Kids Online Safety Act, a bipartisan bill that would require social platforms to provide minors with options that 1) protect their information 2) disable “addictive” product features and 3) opt out of algorithm recommendations.

The perfect recs to revamp your bedside book collection…so you’ll actually start the reading habit you’ve been meaning to get into for years.

• Something smart: The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker

• Something sexy: Three Women by Lisa Taddeo

• Something thrilling: Stone Cold Fox by Rachel Koller Croft

• Something helpful: I'm So Effing Tired: A Proven Plan to Beat Burnout, Boost Your Energy, and Reclaim Your Life by Amy Shah