Throw away your phone

Plus: The case against after-school activities

Hello everyone! We like to be honest about the ups and downs of parenting and motherhood. And today, we’re celebrating an up: Nat is having a moment—she’s creating a spicy narrative in her head and it’s electrifying her whole vibe. It’s not all “I’m not in the mood” all the time with moms like us…and this episode is proof.

The Parent Screen Time Problem

Okay, we know you’re probably reading this on your phone. But as soon as you’re finished reading today’s newsletter…put that thing down. 📵

Here’s why: Almost half of teenagers say their parents at least sometimes get distracted by their phones during conversations, according to a new survey from the Pew Research Center. Parents seem oblivious—only 31% of them said this is something they do.

Why this matters so much: We’re often on our kids about putting down their phones, but it turns out we’re all guilty of letting screen time get in the way of real life. And in the little quality time you do get with your kids…do you really want to be distracted by your phone?

There’s a lesson here. In the same survey that called us parents out, some 75% of teens said being away from their smartphones led to more positive emotions, like feeling “happy” and “peaceful.” Let’s take a hint from our kids, huh?

Do you feel like screen time is a problem for you?

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This Sleepover Story Is Terrifying

A man in Oregon has been arrested for allegedly drugging several young girls at his daughter’s sleepover with a strong sedative he put in smoothies and “insisted” that the girls drink.

One girl told police she called and texted her parents, writing, “Mom please pick me up and say I had a family emergency. l don’t feel safe. I might not respond but please come get me. Please. Please pick up. Please. PLEASE!”

This is so scary. And we’re so relieved these young girls are okay. But this represents a learning moment for both parents and children.

For parents: Keep in mind that stories like this are pretty rare, even if they are nightmares. Still, there are some important questions to ask other parents before sending your kids to a sleepover at their house →

  • Will there be other siblings or adults at home?

  • Are there weapons or drugs in the house?

  • Will the kids be unsupervised?

For kids: This is a stellar chance to talk to your kids about having a “safe” word or phrase that means “come get me now, no questions asked.” We’re big fans of this parenting method—go here to see why.

The Case Against After-School Activities

We’ve all heard it: Those extracurricular activities are what get kids into college, right? Well…it might not be worth it after all. New reports show that additional after-school activities can contribute negatively to children’s non-cognitive skills.

Translation: Overloading your child’s schedule can cause them to lose out on social and emotional abilities—from developing resilience to learning communication to feeling good overall. Overextended kids lose sleep and gain stress…two things that definitely hamstring any academic and social gains.

So before you book another SAT tutor…think about what else your kid has going on.

Read This Before Retirement

We’re so sorry to ruin your day, but…a whopping 47% of parents are still financially supporting their adult children. That means any and everything: buying food, paying the phone bill, helping with rent…all for their 18+ children.

These parents are forking over $1,384 a month, on average. WHAT? We thought we could put the kid money toward that trip to Tahiti once they moved out…but I guess it’ll have to wait. 💰️ 

It might not be fun, but trust us: It’s normal. Every parent disagrees with their emotionally haywire teen at some point (some of us more than others 😆). So today? The perfect recs to disagree effectively…because if we’re going to fight, we have to fight fair.

Ending today’s newsletter with a thank you note to each other. We feel so grateful for the love, support, and belly laughs that come with powerful female friendships.

How lucky are we to know there’s someone to pick us up when we’re at our lowest, pop a bottle with us when we’re at our highest, and read our minds during all those times in between? Here’s to girlfriends everywhere 🥂 there’s nothing like you!

—Cat & Nat