The one thing that predicts grades years before report cards do

Last week, Cat & Nat shared something on Substack and it's pretty dang honest, so we have to tell you about it.

TLDR: Cat finally hit a wall after a weekend of watching everyone around pick up their phones every two minutes for no real reason. So instead of just adding more restrictions, she sat the kids down and asked them straight up who thought they could do better with their own habits. Then she tied a cash reward to it, because sometimes personal growth needs a little financial motivation, and started a device experiment alongside her husband. Because you can't ask your kids to examine their phone habits while yours never leaves your hand.

What we loved about it is that we’re admitting the device settings and the limits only get you so far. The real work is helping kids (and ourselves) actually want to put the phone down. If you want the full, unfiltered version, it's on the Substack now, with the truthful follow-up on how its actually going coming soon.

Go easy on yourselves this week. If the government and half of Silicon Valley are still figuring this stuff out, you're allowed to still be figuring it out too.

Early social media use is showing up on report cards years later

A new study followed more than 5,000 Italian teenagers and found the earlier a kid opened a social media account, the worse their grades were years later. Researchers picked students who were academically similar in 5th grade and weren't yet on social media, then tracked them forward. Kids who opened accounts in 6th grade (age 11–12) scored meaningfully worse in math and their equivalent of English-language exams by 10th grade. It’s a gap researchers say is roughly equivalent to six months of schooling. The effect showed up a little for 7th-grade joiners and mostly disappeared for 8th-grade joiners. And the gap grew over time, even after everyone else had joined social media too.

Interestingly, the grade drop didn't touch their English-language grades, and researchers think that's because so much of what teens consume online is in English, which may have actually given them informal language practice. It's a good reminder that this isn't a simple screens are bad story, it's specifically about how early, and how much.

What you can do: back to school is a natural moment to revisit the question of when, even if you already made this call once. If your kid isn't on social media yet, this is one more real reason delaying a bit longer is worth the friction. If they already are, it might be a good idea to look at what's actually eating their time and attention once homework starts back up. Our Screen Sense Guide walks through age-appropriate settings for exactly this stage.

Meta ordered to pay $567 million and rewrite the rulebook for teen accounts

Last week, a New Mexico judge ordered Meta to pay $567 million into a fund to address the harm its platforms have caused young people on top of the $375 million a jury already ordered back in March. The judge compared Meta to a factory, and described the psychological harm and sexual exploitation of children as the pollution that factory needs to clean up. Yikes.

Along with the money, Meta now has to stop recommending any account belonging to a user under 18 to an adult, and adults who aren't already connected to a minor won't be able to message them at all. Underage users won't be able to send or receive nudity. Meta has to adopt a one-strike policy for adults caught engaging in child sexual exploitation. Like counts disappear by default for under-18 accounts. Push notifications get cut off overnight and during the school day. And there's now a hard cap of 90 hours a month, combined, across Instagram and Facebook, for anyone under 18. So about three hours a day.

The catch is that for now, these changes only apply to users in New Mexico, Meta hasn't been given a deadline to actually implement any of it, and the company has already said it plans to appeal. So this isn't something that protects your kid tomorrow morning.

What you can do: don't wait on this one. Many of the measures a judge had to order are all things you can set up at the device level tonight, regardless of what state you live in or what Meta eventually rolls out. This ruling is a preview of where the pressure is heading (finally). Your own settings don't have to wait for it.

We just found an app we're a little obsessed with right now and we think it’s one that kids will love. It's called Catzy, and it's basically a virtual cat that lives on your kid’s phone and nags them (gently, adorably) to do their self-care habits. They can set goals like drink water, journal, get outside, and every time you check one off, your cat gets happier and you earn coins for tiny outfits and furniture. It sounds silly and it is a little silly, but there's something about a cartoon cat's happiness being on the line that gets everyone to follow through on their self-care promises. It might be worth a look if you or your kids need a gentler way back into a routine before the school year swallows your family’s calendar whole.

Speaking of resets, as we head into back-to-school season, be gentle with yourselves. The lunches won't all be Pinterest-worthy, the school supply list will have one item no store carries, and that's fine. Everything will be just fine. You've got this.

—Cat & Nat