How stressed are you?

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Hi, everyone. We’ve got an ask: Can we calm down with the “summer is over!” talk? We know school is back in session for lots of us. And we know Labor Day has come and gone for our friends in the States. But it’s not fall until it starts getting dark at 4pm. Right? Right?!

—Cat & Nat

Modern Parenting? More Stressful Than We Imagined

Anyone who thinks parenting is easy…probably hasn’t raised kids. It’s d*mn stressful. And don’t just take our word for it—the US surgeon general recently issued a public health advisory on the impact of stress from modern parenting.

Here’s why →

• According to a 2023 study from the American Psychological Association, 41% of parents reported feeling “too stressed to function.” 

• From comparison culture (social media, we’re looking at you) to financial troubles to keeping kids safe, many parents feel like they can barely come up for air.

The good news? We’re talking about it. Admitting that parenting is hard and stressful doesn’t mean we aren’t strong, and it certainly doesn’t mean we love our kids any less. Yes, we wanted to be parents, yes, it’s a wonderful gift, and yes, it is very difficult at times. All of those things can be true at once.

So feel free to sound off about what’s stressing you out—hit reply to this email or join The Common Parent to let it all out and feel heard.

Manage Stress with Expert Support – Start Therapy with BetterHelp

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Reclaim Your Calm

Arguing Could Benefit Your Kids

Allow us to explain. Witnessing healthy disagreement between you and your spouse could be a good thing for kids. Psychologist and best-selling author Adam Grant suggests that “productive tension” shows kids that respectful disagreements and debates do not necessarily create ongoing conflict—they can actually lead to creative problem-solving.

Worth noting: Productive tension doesn’t mean yelling or belittling. But being realistic about the fact that there’s no such thing as a perfectly harmonious household helps prepare your kids for the real world—where handling conflict respectfully is a good thing.

Lazy Parenting…Might Be a Win?

Not so fast…you still have to get out of your pajamas (well…maybe not). This mom on TikTok suggests being “lazy” in certain situations allows kids to gain independence. 

• When it’s safe and age appropriate, there’s nothing wrong with gently telling our kids to do things for themselves.

• Like? Encouraging your middle schooler to fix their own snack or letting your tween pack for themselves for a sleepover.

Learned helplessness is a real thing! None of us want that for our kids. So sit back, relax, and allow your child to fix a problem on their own. You’ve got this…and so do they!

One thing about us? We love our teachers! Back-to-school is even more stressful for them than it is for us. So today? The perfect recs to help our homeroom heroes feel the love.

• Mr. Williams lays down the law on what should and should NOT be expected of teachers

• 5 ways parents can support teachers

• A stellar Reddit thread of teachers sharing what parents can do to make a difference

• And because we know happy students make for happy teachers…5 tools to help your kids study better