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What not to say to your teen

Plus: Setting boundaries for real

One thing about us? We live and die by the snackle box. Always have, always will. If you remember us for one thing, let it be this! What are you putting in your snackle box this summer? 🪝🍿 

Real Men Do Cry

with the outdated idea that men would be considered weak for having feelings. And what gives us hope? Examples like this: Soccer star Leo Messi, by openly expressing emotion on the field, is sending a message to boys that it’s more than okay to feel your feelings.

Boys need role models to dismantle toxic masculinity. We know it’s true: Kids imitate what they see. How cool to see Messi, who’s a hero to tons of young boys, showing that emotion isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength.

This is something we are passionate about. We talked about it at length on the pod this week with speaker, author, and father Jason Wilson who told us how we can encourage our boys to open up about their mental health and properly process emotions. Highly recommend you give this one a listen!

1 in 3 Teens Are Getting Mental Health Treatment

This is a good thing! Kids are asking for (and receiving) the help they need. Over 8 million kids between the ages of 12 and 17 are receiving some kind of counseling, treatment, and/or medication for a mental health issue, according to the US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

While we’re not amped that kids are struggling, we’re so relieved to know more of them are getting the help they need. Kids have always gone through tough times, but it’s only been in the last decade or so that society has actively encouraged them to talk about it and seek help.

Want to keep the momentum (and conversation) going? Here are some tips for talking to kids about mental health, and here are some pointers for broaching the topic of therapy with them.

What Not to Say to Your Teen

Say it with us: Don’t try to fix all of your kid’s problems. We know, it’s an impossible impulse to resist. But when our kids come to us with hard topics, sometimes we have to fight our instincts in order for our kids to feel like they’ve been heard. Here a few phrases to avoid when your teen is venting:

  • “In a few years, this won’t matter.” That’s almost always true…and deeply unhelpful. This is their life now. It matters to them now. Meet them where they are.

  • “You’re being dramatic!” So what if they are? Let them! They are teenagers! That’s kind of their whole thing.

  • “I’ll take care of it.” There goes that pesky parental instinct again! But if we fight all our battles for our kids, they’ll never learn to fight them solo.

It all boils down to listening. People of all ages seek solace in the places they feel the safest. If that’s who you are to your kids, you’re doing something right! 

We hear the word “boundaries” thrown around a lot these days but it’s important we break down what exactly that means. Boundaries are important for everyone—for your kids, their relationships with other people, and their relationship with you. Here are some tangible examples of what boundaries can look like: 

Friendships change on a dime when you’re a teenager. We bet you remember. Your best friend one week could be a stranger the next. We talked about this on IG and will discuss it further with our parenting community, The Common Parent, because it’s a recurring theme in adolescence.

What’s important is that we as parents always leave the door open. If your child writes off a friend of theirs, it doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Teens (and people in general) fight, it feels like the end of the world, then they make up and all is well again. Keeping that in mind will make life easier for everyone! 

Stay cool!

—Cat & Nat