Newsflash: Parenting is Harder Than EVER

🎶Vacation, all we ever wanted 🎶…smell checks included! 😬

Why Is Parenting So Hard These Days? 

We didn’t invent parenting. It’s kind of been around a while! And it feels like parenting should be easier given all of the technological, medical and sociological advancements we’ve made. And yet, here we are, in the trenches. Remember just last year when the US Surgeon General warned that parenting was a potential health hazard? We sure do. But the question is, why is it so hard? 

Like most things when it comes to parenting, the answer is multifaceted. Kids are involved in an ungodly amount of activities which requires time, energy and money. All of this while trying to be a gentle parent, an involved but not too involved parent, a parent who is present but still 100 percent focused on their career to help pay for said activities. It’s a vicious cycle. It feels like there aren't enough hours in the day to be a parent, let alone a person. Researchers coined this as “the intensification of parenting.” While the advancements society has made have been great, they also contribute to what makes parenting more difficult. On top of all of this, there’s also the perpetual state of chaos the world seems to be in. It seems we are bombarded with anxiety and dread every minute of the 24 hour news cycle. Raising kids in a world that always feels like it’s about to end takes its toll on all of us.

The solution? We’d be silly to say we have one. Nobody has a quick fix. But we hope that you at least feel validated in your struggle and are able to find a sense of community, whether in-person, online or a healthy combination of both. We can give ourselves space to feel frustrated without feeling guilty. We lead with love for our kids at every turn, that is what matters!

We Need to Be There For Our LGBTQ+ Youth

This is an incredibly scary stat. But it’s something we as parents (and human beings) need to hear: nearly 40 percent of LGBTQ+ youth reported conntemplating suicide last year according to The Trevor Project. That is as staggering as it is heartbreaking and it unfortunately does not end there. The report also found that half of LGTBQ+ young people who sought mental health care were unable to get it. The most common barriers to getting proper treatment was money and needing a parent’s permission. The research, according to The Trevor Project CEO Jaymes Black, is clear: “These data reinforce that LGBTQ+ youth are not disproportionately impacted by suicide because of who they are, but rather, because of how they are mistreated, stigmatized and discriminated against.” 

What can we do? The report also showed the flip side: LGBTQ+ kids who attended schools that fostered an inclusive and affirming environment attempted suicide at less than half the rate of those who were members of less tolerant communities. This is proof that love and acceptance works. It is our duty as parents and people on this earth to make everyone feel safe–especially those who are most vulnerable. Dr. Ronita Nash, VP of Research at The Trevor Project put it best, “You don't need to be an expert in LGBTQ plus topics or identities to show young people that you care, no matter where you live, how you're raised or your comfort level with LGBTQ plus topics. It's never too late to show LGBTQ plus youth that they are loved and supported.”

Teaching Our Teens to Be Kind Online

We hope we’ve taught our teens to use discretion and to remember that the internet is forever. But they’re kids. They lack impulse control. And there might be a day where they, in the heat of a moment, leave a rude comment on someone’s video or repost a video that seems funny to them but is actually harmful or offensive. Because our teens live in such a chronically online world, they might have a hard time understanding that some online behavior is not acceptable offline behavior. Sometimes the right answer is to go back to basics– remind your teens that they are to treat other people how they want to be treated, in real life and online. 

We as parents can also lead by example by monitoring our own screen time and being mindful of what we share and comment on social media. As we have seen countless times on the internet, sometimes the most egregious offenders of posting mean or harmful things online are fully grown adults. Don’t be one of them! 

Friendly reminder: Our Screen Sense Guide is a step-by-step guide to help protect your child online with essential phone and social media tools. Give it a try!

Just as bullying can have a long lasting impact on a person, so can kindness. It’s important that we not only teach our kids not to be bullies but about the power of doing good when no one is watching:

• This story has been making the rounds for a while but every time we see it, we watch it all the way through because it’s just that moving. A group of college kids raised money for James, their beloved dorm security guard, to visit his family for the first time in 11 years and he was overwhelmed with gratitude. This says so much about James and his commitment to his job and making these kids feel safe, and kudos to those kids for choosing kindness and paying it forward!

• Lexi Dowdy was relentlessly bullied in high school and it severely impacted her mental health. She credits the kind words of a school cafeteria worker with saving her life. It’s a beautiful reminder of how a compliment can go a long way. If you have something nice to say about another person, never keep it to yourself!