How to raise empathetic kids 🤗

Hey everyone! Quick question for you: Any other parents out there have themselves convinced that the teen years would be easier than the little kid years? We sure did. ✋And if the comments on our Common Parent IG are any indication, many of you did too. We loved this brilliant way one of our community members put it: Young kids are physically exhausting and teens are mentally exhausting.

Here’s to hoping today is a little less exhausting!

​​Kids and Anger Management

If you feel like you can’t control your kid’s outbursts, you’re not alone. A recent survey indicated that 1 in 7 parents believe their child gets angrier than their peers do. And most of those parents believe their kids are mirroring what they see at home.

Let’s be real. Everyone loses their cool sometimes. Parents included. Because we’re human! So before we talk about recognizing the patterns and taking proactive steps to break the cycle…give yourself a little grace.

Now…how do we lead by example to model strong anger management for our impressionable teens and tweens?

• Find what works for you, whether it’s taking deep breaths, squeezing a stress ball, or just venting your frustrations in a calm manner.

• Learn what’s at the root of your anger and how to process it productively.

• Consider talking about some of these anger coping strategies with your family.

How to Raise an Empathetic Child

Can empathy be taught? The internet can’t seem to make up its mind on that one, but here’s what we think: Raising kids who care about other people is important, and all that empathy isn’t sitting at the end of a TikTok scroll.

So it’s on us as parents to teach our kids emotional literacy. We’ve got to help them understand the importance of empathy, especially during those teen years when their world really revolves around…well, them. How do we do that?

• There are big ways: You can learn more about how empathy develops in teens (did you know girls and boys develop empathy at different rates and ages?). You can model empathy by asking questions and genuinely being interested in the answers. You can own up to your own mistakes, honestly.

• And there are small ways: Make eye contact. Say thank you. Give your teen props when they show empathy to another person.

If a kid is surrounded by people who practice empathy every chance they get, chances are they will do the same. 💗

Is Your Teen Reading Dark Romance Books?

First of all, if your teen is reading at all, that’s a win! We’re never (well, probably never) going to pry a book out of our teens’ hands—anything that’s not an iPhone is a victory.

But it’s good to know what your kids are reading so you can ensure it’s age appropriate. Here’s why we bring it up: These days, BookTok is BIG on so-called “dark romance” novels that often portray themes like forbidden romance, moral ambiguity, complex power dynamics, and, in some cases, social taboos and violence. 

So what should you do to ensure your teen isn’t reading beyond their maturity level? Easiest solution: Read the book yourself! It’s a two-birds, one-stone situation: You show an interest in your teen’s interests, and you get to suss out their reading material.

If the book seems a little too intense, try meeting your teen with some thoughtful questions instead of judgment. Ask them what they like about the story, if they think the relationships in the book are healthy, etc. That kind of open dialogue could answer a lot of questions and get you both on the same page (see what we did there? 📖). 

In this chronically online world, we need to keep our kids both physically and mentally safe. There are so many ways our kids could be harmed—from text phishing schemes to way too much screen time, it is important that we as parents help them build digital literacy and healthy boundaries online. Today, the perfect recs to get that started → 

• Beware of scams! We discussed this over in our Common Parent community. If adults can get conned out of money, then our teens are definitely at risk!

• Need some ideas that get your kids’ heads out of their screens? Here are no less than 67 screen-free activities! 

• Last month on the podcast, we spoke to Dr. Alison Yeung about the correlation between the decline in teenage mental health and social media usage. It’s an incredibly enlightening conversation—listen here!