How Addictive Are Our Phones?

Hi Barbie! We succumbed to the AI machine and well… see for yourselves. Consider us equal parts flattered and terrified.

Our New Screen Sense Guide

Phones Are Designed To Be Addictive

That might not be the most groundbreaking headline you’ll see today. But when you come face-to-face with some of these staggering stats, you’ll have a deeper understanding of how dependent teens (and adults!) are on their devices. The average teen checks their phone 144 times a day. No one should be doing anything that often, let alone engaging with something that is specifically designed to make you addicted to it. And parents are seeing the toll it's taking. According to a poll conducted by the University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital, 67% of parents identify overuse of devices and screen time as a major health concern for children, making it the top concern amongst parents in 2023.  

We are right to be concerned.  The American Academy of Adolescent and Child Psychiatry (AACP) found that excessive screen time has been linked to various health issues in children, including sleep disturbances, attention problems, and impaired social development. It’s not a phase, it’s not “kids being kids.” This is a physical and mental health issue. One that we have to continue talking about educating ourselves on, just like we would any other affliction that could potentially impact our kids.

There’s no quick fix to this. No button you can press to magically make your teen have a perfectly healthy relationship with their phone and social media. As parents, we have to set realistic goals and expectations. Practicing what you preach is a good start. We can’t expect our kids to follow rules and boundaries that we don’t practice ourselves. Be mindful of your own screen time. Your actions will speak louder than your words. Some kids even want to spend less time on their phones but being on it is so second nature, they don’t know where to start. That’s where we, the parents, come in–by leading by example, by continuing to learn and most importantly, by teaching them instead of shaming them.

Signs Your Teen Is In A Toxic Friendship 

All friendships have rough patches. But it’s important to be able to decipher between a rough patch and troubling toxic patterns. This goes for people of all ages! But it’s especially important for our teens. What does a toxic friend look like? Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Emily Zeller defines a toxic friend as “someone who consistently behaves in a way that drains, manipulates and harms your child–emotionally, socially or even physically.” While we hope we’ve laid a foundation that allows for our kids to come to us when they feel like they’re being mistreated by a friend, that’s now how it always pans out. So here are some signs to look out for:

• An excessive amount of drama. Teens and drama go hand-in-hand, of course. But if it seems like there’s always an issue involving one friend in particular, that can be cause for concern. 

• Your teen loses their autonomy. If your kid suddenly feels like they can’t hang out with other people because their friend gets jealous, this could mean they’re being emotionally controlled. 

• Peer pressure. If your teen is suddenly giving into pressures they otherwise never partook in (drinking, drugs, stealing, etc.) it could be due to pressure from the company they keep. 

As your teen grows up, they’ll learn the green and red flags of friendship. So if they do seem like they’re in a toxic friendship, it’s not the end of the world. They will learn, just we like we did!

Diving Deeper Into Snapchat

Snapchat has been around a while. About 15 years (!) to be more specific. It might seem like one of the more harmless apps– friends sending brief snapshots to each other. But there are some parts of the app that are a little more hidden, things that parents wouldn’t be aware of if you didn’t specifically know to look out for them. Here are some highlights:

• Disappearing messages can mask risky behaviors. The photos and messages sent via Snapchat vanish after the recipient views/reads them. This can give teens a false sense of security and it’s often the app they go to when they want to engage in more risky behaviors (sending explicit photos or messages, saying offensive things, etc.). But third party apps and screen recordings also exist. The internet is forever, even with Snapchat.

• The “Snap Map” reveals everyone’s current location. While it’s totally understandable for a kid to share their location with a parent or a close friend, not everyone who follows them on Snapchat is safe. Random people they’ve never met should not have that kind of access to your teen. To avoid this, encourage (or gently demand) that your teen changes their settings to “ghost mode.” 

• There is a lack of accountability on Snapchat. Unlike other social media apps, Snapchat offers very little parental controls. So unless your kid is completely open with you about their activity on the app, parents are often left in the dark. 

For more information on the ins and outs of SnapChat and other apps like it, check out our Screen Sense guide! 

Who To Follow: Positive Influencers For Teens

Social media isn’t all doom and gloom. There are some huge positives that can come from it, especially for teens! We’ve decided to highlight one account per week that we think teens could benefit from following! 

First up is Cesalina Gracie, an entrepreneur and self-defense expert! Cesalina’s content is centered around helping girls feel confident, strong and prepared to advocate and protect themselves in any and all situations. While Cesalina’s messaging is very female-focused, it’s just as important for our boys to look up to and emulate and respect for role models who happen to be women. We had the pleasure of having Cesalina on our podcast, we highly suggest you give it a listen!