ChatGPT's push into parenting

Cat lost her phone this weekend and it was so lovely.

There was no scrolling and no phone buzzing. Just a long stretch of time where you look up and realize you have no idea what time it is because nobody checked. We've said this before and we'll say it again: this stage of life feels like we're standing right on the edge of some huge change, the kids getting older, the years moving faster than we'd like. We could spend our energy trying to slow it down, or pretending it's not happening. We're trying not to do that. We're just letting it happen and soaking up as much of it as we can while it's here. And we think the kids can feel it too because there's been a different kind of ease to all the family time lately, a lot of really good, unhurried hangs.

Which is a funny place to land this week, because both of our stories are basically about that exact tension, like the pull of the screen versus the pull of being present. One's a fix for it. One's kind of the opposite. Let's get into it.

Apps that make you earn your scroll

There's a growing category of apps that when used intentionally, make it so you don't get to doomscroll until you've done something else first. Apps like StepBloc, WalkLock, and Walkly lock your social apps until you've hit a step count. Digital Carrot ties app access to fitness or productivity goals, and can even require you to spend real time at the gym before it unlocks anything. WeWard added a "Walking Mode" that does the same thing, on top of paying users to walk in the first place. And then there's TouchGrass, which is exactly what it sounds like becayse it makes you literally go outside and photograph actual grass before Instagram or TikTok will open.

It's not a parenting tool exactly, but it's worth knowing about, and not just for you. These apps are a useful pattern to borrow for your own family's screen habits where you earn the scroll instead of defaulting to it, whether that's a walk around the block or a chunk of homework done first. It's the same logic that's baked into the settings most families already have sitting unused on their kid's phone. If you've been meaning to actually set those up properly, that's exactly the kind of thing we walk through step by step in the Screen Sense Guide.

If you're curious, a few of these (WalkLock, TouchGrass, Digital Carrot) are worth trying on your own phone first, just to feel out whether the friction actually changes your habits. If it does, try it on your kid’s devices. It makes for a much gentler intervention than just taking the phone away.

Sam Altman thinks ChatGPT should narrate your kid's morning commute

Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, posted this week that parents could hook their family calendars into OpenAI's new ChatGPT Work product, and have it generate a daily podcast for the school drive. He suggested those podcasts be about a recap of one kid's soccer game, another's upcoming birthday, some news, all narrated for you while you drive. He called it a "cool use case."

The internet had thoughts and so do we. Someone responded by asking: "What if you just talked to your children?" That reply ended up getting way more traction than Altman's original post, which tells you something about where a lot of parents' heads are at right now.

Our thoughts are that the drive to school is one of the only unstructured, no-agenda pockets of time a lot of families get with their kids all day. Plus the side-by-side seating and lack of eye contact removes much of the pressure some conversations can bring. There's something that feels off about outsourcing that to a narrator, however “smart” or “cool” it is. Altman has made comments like this before, and OpenAI is currently facing lawsuits from families who allege ChatGPT played a role in their kids' mental health crises, even as the company builds out more parent-facing features.

All that being said we also don't think this has to be all-or-nothing. There are real, positive ways technology helps parents connect with their kids. The line seems to be less about whether AI touches the relationship at all, and more about whether it's filling in the cracks or replacing the conversation itself.

This is a good one to think out loud about with your partner or even your kids. Talk about where tech can help you connect, and where does it start standing in for the actual talking? We'd love to hear where you land. Reply to this email and let us know.

We recently started a Substack called Rambling Confessions, something we’re still learning about, but so far we’re loving it! It’s where we're sharing everything from favourite recipes to why we built The Common Parent.

If you have some time, we recommend checking out our post about digital parenting. It just feels like this space is one where nobody knows what they're doing, and this post reflects that. For us, we’re two moms, seven kids between us, admitting we don't have this figured out either. How our own rules have shifted as our kids got older and the tech kept changing under our feet. The shame cycle of feeling like terrible parents every time we open Instagram. The middle-of-the-road approach we've landed on instead with firm boundaries, honest conversations, and giving ourselves grace for the days we forget to turn Screen Time back on.

If you've ever felt like everyone else has this sorted and you're the only one winging it, come read. We promise you're not alone.

—Cat & Nat